nou

^

you know what other sort of people practice passive aggressivness?

genociders. when bill gates launched his green new deal in india

150 000 hindus committed suicide. because they knew by the wisdom

of shiva that its better to die than to become corrupt. because

corruption is the ultimate death. did you know that the mafia (i

am one, one day bellas mom visited us and said "youre apart of the

family now) never kills people? they torture them. infinitely. they

can do it for more than 2 shiftworks. every second. another favourite

trick is to make a mould of them in cement, then put them in there

and drop them in the middle of the atlantic. thats pain. you have

given me near zero pain. also what they like to do is deal drugs

for free for awhile ("the first hit is always free") just to turn

you into them. to expand their network. now the MOC secs network

is seemingly everyones whos regular. thats the thing. only those

exist. i cannot quite comprehend why rich / consty (never heard

him speak) dont add character development to the game? like someone

said, nearly everyone quits after level 30 because theres nothing

else to do in the game. sorry, i missspelled his name, i meant rich,

casino rich, casino rich omninerf. the only reason i came back to the

game or gaming at all (because i was too busy studying and writing

about politics and working out) was because paragon sting asked

me to. mmorpgs as a whole is just nowadays "monkey see monkey do".

you have an objective and you complete it. the thing about being a

soldier in real life is you dont "gain" anything from it. you dont

just kill 10 people then boom you get more powerful. you just get

more neurotic, and most retreat into drug abuse in their older age.

i speak from experience, i was a german lesbian soldier during world

war 2 in a previous life. are you that clairevoyant to know such things?

nope. i was going to say the players admins regulars moderators as a whole

are just a bad joke. but then i thought more, which is what i prefer doing,

and came to the conclusion that this has everything to do with texas. you

are just apart of the texas hivemind. but not really that either, just a texan

mind really. so theres nothing bad about you. im not bitter at you. i dont hate

you as i am incapable of hate. i did start with coffee after i broke a wisdom

tooth. the pain was unbarable. actually not, i got tricked into it. i had so much

toothache for so long that it didnt hurt anymore. "pain is weakness leaving the

body" "pain is just a pulse if you stop feeling it". yes, eventually the toothache

just turned into a pulse. throughout my name, as a man, as a warrior, as a lonewolf

i have never really gotten help or advice from anyone. through clairevoyance, not

by being "high all the time", i got to know the first word my grandfather said about

me. it was "he is stronger than us". i can just imagine the horror in his eyes mind

and whole being when he uttered those words. yes, i am stronger than you.

i am 3x your age and i am 100x stronger at the very least. but im not

perfect. i remember some years ago, i was spamming so bad, a kid said

he would shoot up his school. i didnt care, i was busy firemonkeying

around, it sounded "funny". a less funny memory, if you analyze it,

is when i talked about drugs before i really started doing them heavily

(i still take dip but i have quit coffee, i did 4 at the same time before)

someone said "hes just 11 he shouldnt take drugs". but now you dont say

a peep about drugs anymore. it is refered to as "honour among thieves".

its better to keep quiet about your shady business than it is to ever

mention you are a bad person. but you do think about it right? in some

sorta way? i doubt it. when i was high on cisordinol, a horrificly

strongly neuroleptic which i figured "hey ill use that as dip". dip

goes into your gums then into your whole being especially your brain.

then, i lived in your world. yeah. real fun. i turned robotic, automagic

life was like an infinite shit reality show mixed with a computer game.

at one time allyekhrah (someone i lost 20 years ago, i thought) asked

darkhalo (i made a fansite about him, then deleted it, he didnt

appreciate that) "what level are you on?". he said "hes in in real life".

anyway, as rockstars said when interviewed about the 1970s, "i dont

remember anything about the 70s". yeah. its been the same for me,

it comes back and goes away just as fast all the batshit things that

happened. but you know what? i like my boring calm grey dull predictable

life. with drugs your world becomes predictable and you become

predictable. so its the same thing but predictable. i was tripping so

bad, between christmas and new years 2024 it took 3 whole months of

time before i managed to reach level: january 2. that is just stupid.

i can say a lot of things about drugs. how infinitely disgusting they

are in infinite amount of ways. even coffee especially coffee. its

just a lightweight meta amphetamine. anyway, the thinking changed

towards this writing style instead of just a creative hatemail.

tea is really the worst drug of all, it makes you desenstiized. it

doesnt calm you. maybe the original tea from sri lanka (thats where

it comes from) makes you calm but i doubt it. tea is a slave drink,

the more you take of you the more un-calm you get, and the more you

have you work until you puke, then cry yourself to sleep. repeat ad

nauseum. thats why the chinese have so sad eyes inherently in their

genes. their rulers forced them to grow and drink tea, so they would

be better worker bees. the exact same thing happened with opium. which

is even more beyond apprehensive. black tea (only peppermint tea has

more) is the most lead rich thing you can find at the grocery store.

lead has no practical use in the human body. it makes you desensitized.

the word "lethargic" has its roots in the workings of this metal.

i was going to say "you are just a bad joke". you cannot break me with

words like. you are just ultimate stupid. and its funny paragon sting

can handle 1v3 but i can easily handle 4 of you. 3 bullying me, then

opa rich gets called in like the artillery and mutes me, but not before

i break him as well. anyway, i was going to write more, but i can

sometimes actually hear the darpa hydrogel mindcontrol i am subject to.

which you are as well. right. when i grew up i played 100s of computer

games. then quake came along. wasnt into doom before then, luckely.

quake revitalized and created and innovated so much in gaming as a whole.

but it also destroyed it completely. before id buy several games a year

(my family wasnt particurarly rich and ive never had a salary) and play

many many demos off of cds from computer magazines. right. im getting

more and more killswitches here induced in me. the thing about first

person shooters is its adrenaline rushes all the time. not dopamine

like MMORPGs. so i dont fault you for being kids. i did pay attention

in school and in upper gradeschool i used to actually talk to the teachers

as they did their lectures. one time i remember an oldish replacement

teacher we me and my 2 geek friends sat next to him and talked to him

over a lunch. "education, like youth, probably just wasted on the young"

yeah, one person, not naming any names, somehow had 100 000 collected

items, a new thing to be "done" in the game. but i prided myself into

having listened (i used stats in winamp for it) to the quake soundtrack

10 000 times. thats not something a kid should listen to. not most adults

either. but i was just a stupid kid i didnt know better. as for your

bullying practices, i was bullied for 8 years. and that you continue

it is just disgusting. but then again like i said im no angel. but

its not possible to get bitter unless you take bitter substances.

but i remember being some sorta bitter as a kid, eventhough i took

nothing. i had my first smoke and coffee when i was 30, then i met

my first (ive had 2, as in, intra-vaginal sex) relationship like boom.

and yes, i remember using my bitterness to break a person or two.

but what you cant break is an artist. an intellectual. ive tried that

as well. succeeded a couple of times. but ive also made a lot of people

happy. what i learnt when i worked for free at fountain house, i literally

told the boss "so if i make 99 good things and 1 bad ive only done 1 bad

thing?". im sure just because i did good things, i "stood out", it was

more counted as 100 bad. but i try to be a good person. as a bully victim

i spend 10-20-30 years alone though. so it just goes with the territory

that when i start talking eventually theres no stopping to me. and i dont

fault you for anything. youre from texas. i was together with a texas

woman once. she was amazing. she openly admitted to having been a former

crack addict. but you know what was interesting about that? she said

various internet activities were actually more addictive than

crack. takes 1 to know 1, you know? so thats really sick how mmorpg

developers turn little kids into the worst most disgusting drug

addicts on the planet. but its just pixels. its just monopoly money.

it has no inherent value or meaning. ill turn on some music now

because this just feels weird and empty in the atmosphere here.

anyway, ive written a lot and i guess ill stop. remember though,

bliss is infinite, creativity is infinite. the opposite of bliss

and creativity is being bored. eventually it leads into lethargy

and when youre lethargic you indulge in more and more perverse

activities. your parents are like that. i dont wish you to become

like them but im not a prophet. i just write a lot. people barely

care have ever cared. but when i quit freeze dried coffee (i used

it as dip, no water whatsoever, it was 99.9% potency and purity)

i got my spirituality back. i recommend divining yourself in master

tsais 5 pillars of destiny. it says everything and beyond. star signs

are the ultimate science because at its apex you can divine yourself

or anything really in every star in the entire universe. "the more you

know, you more you want to know" the more you can learn. because you

turn openminded. i am straight edge yes i say with a straight face without

lying in any way, i have drank a total of 20 beers in my whole life. thats

not even 1 a year. what i learnt from chinese astrology is i am 0 metal.

that is very unusual. it means i just cant make money. i cant make friends.

and i cannot own items. sort of like a tibethan monk, which im sure ive

been in previous lifes. i also have their focus, when i concentrate on

something whatever it is, my sense uses 100% of my thinking capacity.

i become 1. anyway. getting more and more tired. yes ive gotten plenty

of cyanide poisoned last year. i am hardcore beyond your wildest dreams.

if i had a weak heart id been dead long ago. it hardly makes any sign.

it is just too strong. an aching heart is an error message like all pain.

which is also why i can be so heartless, like the ones i messed up in moc.

which i dont know how many it is. when i converse with people online, i

respond to the text they have written, thats it. not their avatar, not

their pretend name. for everything that happened in my life before, i

could always discern a deep meaning. like id be laughed out by a staff

at a job, then i looked within and figured "ok, i did that to that

person that time and that over time devolved into him demeaning me".

i had a lot of empathy back then. but it came at the cost of infinite

torture. the best thing about working out is everything eventually

pisses you off. which can be problematic. but if you get pissed off

of feeling like shit, its the best thing ever. if you dont wanna feel

like shit you get your shit together. its easy. where i am forcibly

moved to now, the staff are brutal, maybe more than you are in real life

maybe. so they are like trolls or ettins or ogres. high hp and can 2-3

hit kill you if you let them. but they are infinitely stupid. and being

from the countryside and never meeting anyone, especially not meeting

anyone with brains or disagreeing with their rape robot agende, it turns

them into babyogres. now ogres themselves are stupid as fucking hell.

they cannot count beyond 3. but babyogres havent even developed into

stupid. they are stupid on another level completely. they are clumsy

lazy and sloppy like all children. but these are adults. they cannot

really comprehend anything nor achieve anything they are supposed to.

but their mission is rape and torture. i have met plenty of infinitely

fucked up people since i joined the truther movement in 2018 in the

wake of the corona vaccine which was only launched then to curb the

hong kong riots. except zero tolerance here the also practive logarithmic

torture. meaning, every day is worse to the nth degree. and its not like

leveling in other good MMORPGs where you get slower xp over time. oh no.

here im punished even for things i didnt do whatsoever. that they planned

to do. another thing is they are bad liars. before i got to say that to

them, i was jokishly refered to as a bad liar, the annunaki mindcontrol

even made me joke about being a bad liar. i do not care for breaking

people, i am a lvl 10 white mage and all i meet around here and online

are lvl 1 demons. they use a simple spell, lvl 1 mirror, to cancel any

negative loosh i give them, by speaking simple truths that even a

numbskull could figure out. but im pretty tired of that. i broke the

whole swedish psychiatric system in june 14. thats when i got the

weirdest infomercial on facebook. we have that in europe since they

got sued for stealing peoples person information. so they steal your

personal information even more, by giving you fucked up ads of fucked

up things which the infinitely stupid ai adsense things you will like.

oh. i feel horrific now. sometimes i wonder if everythings prewritten

that i write. it could be. because i seemingly can go on forever like

when im firemonkeying except this was of value. but i like having fun

and thats how i do it. anyway. i have very strong anti-drugs in me.

i got a new fillup today. got to be happy and normal and myself for

about half a day. then 13 days of torture. they make me suicidal

violent cursing and lethargic here. and like i said, it ramps up

all the time. the more i try to be healthy in body and mind the

more they punish me for it. they said a month ago theyll never

buy me anything again because i wasnt "nice". but nothing they say

makes sense. i especially remember the nurse at tornet norsborg.

god knows what she was on. not just aborted fetal tissue. more like

an aborted horse. its messed up. or at least fentanyl and crack as

well if not more things. metaamphetamine probably as well. i ask

something, she lies, i say something truthful. she says a polar lie

to her lie which nullifies what she said previously 5 seconds ago.

i ask about that and she lies more. just ultimate batshit way

beyond my level. right. checked some other site. sorry. the flow

got lost. got another injection today. 400mg. and they lie about it.

tried to put up demands. be a man. but you cant win against a psychopath.

and when the whole system is that, what are you suppposed to do? i now

feel even worse than ever before. i cant imagine how it will be in a year

or decade. i didnt think id make i through like i said to nosmas even

2023. but i did. but theres nothing left of me. even if i like this make

a good essay or poem art music ive increased my total throughput by less

than 10% of a promille. im just tired of this. tired of this shit. its

all a game show. computer game. to them. if i still had freeze dried

rainforest alliance coffee i would have been able to go on writing.

i think ill make a vlog instead of me monkeying around. some like that.

seemingly. cya. have a good one.

side effects of cisordinol
1 violent
2 suicidal
3 deja vu
4 creative
5 apathetic